I think I need to preface this post by acknowledging that it is part of (modern) human nature to be critical of oneself. I don’t fault anyone for it. However, it is still extremely important for us to step back and ask ourselves “what am I trying to accomplish?” Are we trying to get to that socially-constructed, photoshop-enhanced (totally imaginary) ideal? Or are we actually trying to be happy and healthy? We’re all going to have moments of insecurity, but we can’t let those few moments interfere with our lives.
In my previous post I ranted about “My best ten” and how they encourage us to exercise for all the wrong reasons. It is a bit more difficult for me to write about aging, but I can confidently say that we prioritize the wrong things in life. We focus way too much on how we think (or rather how we have been told to think) our bodies and faces should look. Who the hell ever said that looking our age was unattractive, unsexy, inappropriate or undesirable?
Aging is a natural process, NO ONE will escape it. Sure, there are tons of things you can do to mitigate the effects of aging: take care of yourself inside and out, eat healthily, drink plenty of water, wash and moisturize your skin regularly, don’t smoke, use sunblock, get enough sleep, go to the spa, use face masks, etc. etc. etc. Also, let’s not forget the huge role genetics plays in how we age. If you do all the things I mentioned above and live a healthy lifestyle, then why fret when your skin starts to change and signs of aging start showing? Why do we worry about the inevitable? Why not focus on LIVING our lives and making great memories. After all, our experiences and our memories are what spur personal growth and make life worth living; they are how we meet people, establish relationships, make connections. Aren’t all those things more important than worrying about whether or not we have crow’s feet at 30?
On the subject of plastic surgery, Bill Burr, one of my favorite comedians, said something along the lines of: "People, there’s nothing wrong with being 52, and looking 52, alright?. You’re 52. What would you rather be? Fifty-two, and look 52, or be 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?” (the last 40 seconds of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pznB7WP4P1o )
And Sarah Silverman really struck a chord with me when she said: “... to so many women... I just want to say, "Your heartbreaking attempts to look younger is the reason your daughter doesn't dream about her future!"
What's wrong with being 30, 40, 50 or 60 and looking your age? You can be 45 and look 30, but feel like shit and constantly be on edge about your looks and wrinkles*. OR, you can be 45, look 45, laugh often, have fun often, build memories and experiences, take care of yourself, and go to bed happy knowing you are LIVING.
Let’s face it: this wonderful journey called “life” does have a final stop... And for those of us who make it into our 70s, 80s, 90s, and beyond: we’re going to look old. What would you rather do? Reminisce about how you lived your life, or mourn the smooth skin you used to have?
Corporations and businesses that sell all these beauty products and “services” have a vested interest in keeping us uncomfortable with and insecure about aging. We wouldn't even worry about our looks if it weren't for them in the first place! Seriously, who the hell told you you couldn't be beautiful at any age? As a child, did you ever think your grandparents were gross and ugly? Did you ever think your mom should really take care of those wrinkles, wear more makeup, or dye her hair more often?
As we grow up we are bombarded with all these magazine images and ads telling us that we are not good enough. That we are not slim enough. That our skin is not firm enough. That our hair isn’t shiny enough. That we will not be beautiful enough if we don't buy their products.
STOP IT!!!
Stop this madness! Why do we insist on torturing ourselves over superficial things? Why can't we focus more on building happy and fulfilling lives? As with working out, once you decide to take care of yourself and do what makes you truly happy, your obstacles won’t be as daunting and the things that used to bother you may become totally trivial and unimportant. Freeing yourself from these superficial notions opens up insane amounts of time and energy that will be better spent elsewhere, on the things that matter.
Take care of yourself. Love yourself. And free yourself from all the media bullshit.
Again: fuck "My best 10" (and every other industry/business) for preying on socially-constructed insecurities. Fuck them for telling us that we aren't beautiful if we don't look young and fit.
"My best 10" shouldn't be about being "10 pounds lighter" and "looking 10 years younger". My best ten should be about things that matter, things that remain with us, regardless of how young or old you are.
So, in the spirit of telling them to eff off, here’s MY best ten (in no particular order):
1) My favorite bottle of wine: Marques de Riscal
2) My proudest moment working out: Doing intense circuit-training with my fiance, then finishing off with some boxing drills. Then I took a short stretch break, and went for some more boxing until I collapsed from exhaustion, but damn did that feel good!
3) Best random Netflix discovery: “Lost in Translation”. We knew nothing about the movie, had read no reviews… just decided to watch it because Bill Murray kicks ass.
4) The best trip of my life: Spending two weeks roaming the countryside in Ireland. No schedule, no itinerary, just a map, GPS and thirst for adventure.
5) Best random adventure: Back in college, my roommate and I decided to get on a bus, get off wherever we felt like it, and find a good place to eat. I don’t remember where we ended up going, but doing something spontaneous, without a plan, was wonderful.
6) The best hike/camping trip I’ve been on: My fiance and I celebrated our 5-year anniversary with a hike near Mt. Rainier, with overnight camping and breathtaking views of Rainier the next day.
7) Best way to spend a Saturday morning: out on a walk, with a hot cup of coffee (or iced in the summer).
8) Best birthday gift: getting a phone call from my family in El Salvador, and having my cousin’s little girls say “Happy birthday, Tía!” and tell me about what Santa brought them. Biggest. Smile. Ever.
9) My favorite night-time moisturizer: Olive oil or coconut oil (in case you’re curious, my favorite daily moisturizer is any non-greasy SPF 15 lotion for under $10).
10) My greatest success: Sticking to studying art even though tons of people told me that I should study science or math instead.
… the list could go on and on. It really isn’t about quantifying the “top ten” anything, that’s just stupid. It’s about appreciating what you have, finding joy in the things that matter, creating memories with the people you love and, ultimately, proudly giving anyone who makes you feel insecure the middle finger.
*Of course, I’m not saying that all people who look younger than their age feel like shit and are obsessed about their looks. I’m referring to those who obsess with cosmetics, surgeries, and all sorts of artificial methods to make themselves look younger.
